[ derek's shoulders hunch, defensive and angry. he still carries so much stupid guilt. ]
Then don't do it like she did.
[ he spits. it's not even about cora so much as sex. all sex. vulnerability. the expectations derek places on himself, not knowing what's normal, not wanting what's normal, and hating himself for it. abruptly he trembles with the tension preceding getting up off the bed and leaving his own room, but doesn't quite. ]
It's not just that.
[ oh, it's not just intense ptsd cockblocking her? derek leans forwards, rests his forearms on his knees, triskelion a stark splash in the center of his muscled back. his jaw has a miserable slant to it again. ]
If I let you touch it, I'll probably knot.
[ and at last he's reached the center of his need to get off handsfree, his disgust at his own dick. ]
no subject
Then don't do it like she did.
[ he spits. it's not even about cora so much as sex. all sex. vulnerability. the expectations derek places on himself, not knowing what's normal, not wanting what's normal, and hating himself for it. abruptly he trembles with the tension preceding getting up off the bed and leaving his own room, but doesn't quite. ]
It's not just that.
[ oh, it's not just intense ptsd cockblocking her? derek leans forwards, rests his forearms on his knees, triskelion a stark splash in the center of his muscled back. his jaw has a miserable slant to it again. ]
If I let you touch it, I'll probably knot.
[ and at last he's reached the center of his need to get off handsfree, his disgust at his own dick. ]